A year or so ago I was in a circle with a few other women and we were all sharing our story and I explained that I feel that I’ve reached the end of my healing journey. That I’m healed and I’m ready to move on from this stage of my life. One of the women responded to me and said, “well, we’re never truly healed – this work we have to do is forever”. And that really got me pondering.. one, because I disagree with her but two, because I also agree with her. For the last few months I’ve been sitting with this question “are we ever really healed”? And that’s when I realized – we’ve confused “the healing journey” with “our lifelong work”.
Watch My Latest YouTube Video: Are We Ever Fully Healed? The Healing Journey vs The Lifelong Work
As a reminder: there is no singular path when it comes to a healing journey. What it looks like for me may be completely different from what it looks like for you ~ and that’s okay! We’re all on our own unique path so comparisons aren’t conducive to understanding. Comparing our unique journeys to each other would be like comparing fruit to water. At the end of the day – they’re both hydrating and that’s all that really matters.
Also, as a reminder: these are my own beliefs and ideologies, how I choose to make sense of the world. There is no right or wrong! Your beliefs may completely contradict mine but that wouldn’t make them any less true to you. The same way that your beliefs contradicting mine wouldn’t make mine any less true to me.
That being said: here is what I believe about the healing journey and the lifelong work.
What is The Healing Journey
We have created a misconception that “healing” is about “fixing” ourselves. But, we’re not broken! If you take nothing else away from this article I hope that it is the affirmation:
I AM NOT BROKEN. I DO NOT NEED TO FIX MYSELF.
The healing journey is a process of self-discovery and growth. Self-discovery doesn’t require “fixing” – it requires honesty, vulnerability, and compassion. The same way that “growth” doesn’t require “fixing” or “mending”. Growth requires taking care of yourself, tending to yourself, and gentleness with yourself.
Where is the Healing Journey a Journey To?
The healing journey is a journey to completeness, to a feeling of wholeness that is deeply rooted within yourself and not swayed by anyone or anything externally.
The healing journey is a journey to a place where you are happy with yourself, perfect in your imperfections.
The healing journey is a journey to acceptance. Fully accepting all of yourself; even the parts that may be messy or contradictory or the parts that may be “less ideal” in a societal standard. For that matter, the healing journey is a journey to a place where you don’t care to conform to those societal standards.
The healing journey is a journey to peace… to a peace that is so deeply rooted in yourself that no one and nothing external can threaten to take that peace away from you.
The healing journey is a journey to a place where you love yourself unconditionally. Where you stand up for yourself. Where no one and nothing external can validate you because you validate yourself.
The healing journey is a journey to your authentic self.
What is Your Authentic Self?
Your authentic self is your true essence – who you are in the core of your being. It is your most unfiltered and genuine self-expression. Your true essence is combination of your values, passions, unique strengths, true desires, beliefs and unapologetic display of your emotions and feelings.
Many healing journeys consist of “inner child work” because we are often searching for the true essence that we had as a child. Oftentimes, childhood is where societal, familial, or cultural expectations begin to creep in and create subconscious patterns, beliefs, etc. And subsequently our authentic self often hides underneath layers of those subconscious patterns created by societal expectations and external conditionings and influences.
Tapping into our authentic self requires us to go on the healing journey to dig through the layers to re-discover your authentic self.
What Does a Healing Journey Consist of?
Again, I want to stress – we don’t “heal” to “fix ourselves”. We heal to find peace, wholeness, joy, acceptance, and unconditional love within ourselves. We heal to uncover our authentic self.
Embarking on a healing journey is accepting that there are some belief patterns, traumas or emotions that have been suppressed or buried. Maybe there are subconscious patterns and habits or self-sabotaging behaviors.
The healing journey consists of uncovering those belief patterns, digging through the buried traumas and emotions, and unpacking them. We heal to understand our subconscious patterns or self-sabotaging behaviors.
And most importantly: the healing journey consists of creating new belief patterns, new habits and behaviors.
Are We Ever Fully Healed?
Yes, I believe that we can be fully healed. When we are aware and of our patterns, our subconscious beliefs, self-sabotaging behaviors and love ourselves regardless – we are healed.
That upon arriving at a place where we are completely accepting of our authentic self – we are healed.
I believe we are fully healed when we know, deep down, we don’t need to be “working on ourselves” all of the time.
But, What About The Lifelong Work?
There’s a common misconception in the spiritual community that “the healing journey is forever”. I believe this to be bullshit created by unhealed teachers and “healers” who hold their students accountable for the work that they can’t complete themselves. *SHOTS FIRED* I know, but lets keep it real. The only person who can heal us, is ourselves, so anyone calling themselves, “a healer” probably isn’t going to be the best person to lead you along this journey.
I don’t believe that the “healing journey is forever”. As you read above, I believe the healing journey is a journey to your authentic self and once you uncover him/her – your journey is complete. But, that’s when the lifelong work begins.
No one is perfect. Just because we embarked on a healing journey where we discovered our subconscious beliefs and patterns, self-sabotaging habits, conditionings, and influences – doesn’t mean that those patterns, beliefs, habits, etc are now gone completely. The lifelong work is recognizing when those patterns creep up and choosing differently.
The lifelong work is accepting that no one on this planet knows everything – there’s always going to be something we can learn. The “work” is keeping your mind open to new discoveries or maybe even shifting your beliefs and ideologies because of something new that you’ve learned.
The lifelong work is accepting that you’re not perfect. That there may be things you can tweak to to live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. The “work” is the endeavor of being a human that consistently places their happiness, joy and peace at the forefront of their priorities. In today’s day and age – the lifelong work is also not letting the consistent attack from social media, the internet, the news, etc sway you from being rooted in your authentic self. In many cases – the lifelong work will also be in recognizing that you’re healed and there’s nothing you need to fix about yourself. In a time where everyone and everything is trying to convince you that you’re broken – the lifelong work may just be keeping your feet solid in yourself and your truth.
In wrapping up: I want to remind you that you are not broken. The healing journey is a journey to your authentic self. To be healed means that you fully accept your authentic self. And that the lifelong work is just about recognizing patterns when they pop up and staying rooted in your authentic self, unapologetically.
I also want to apologize to anyone who was wrongfully convinced that they were broken. Anyone who was wrongfully convinced that they needed to fix themselves. Anyone who is struggling because the idea of a lifelong healing journey sounds like a forever up-hill battle. I promise there is flat, fertile, ground in your future. 💖